Mistakes….do you avoid them at all costs? Dread that someone will see you making one? How often does your fear of making a misstep hold you back or make you freeze in your tracks? Perhaps you give up too easily or don’t even start on something new for fear of making a mistake.
Or do you find that once you’ve made a mistake you get stuck? You find yourself unable to be brave enough to admit that you’ve made a mistake, stop brooding about it, and correct it. Is it hard for you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on?
Individuals and organizations share a proclivity –to avoid risks and maintain the status quo – even if the status quo may be a pretty yucky place. And the fear of making a mistake is often one big reason why.
I’ve taken some big risks and also made my share of mistakes, and found it an interesting exercise to take an inventory of both personal and professional risks and mistakes. Looking back at missteps and blunders….all the way back to grade school – a few interesting patterns emerge for me.
First is that some of the biggest risks I’ve taken have NOT been mistakes. I counted about 6 BIG risks I’ve taken in my life – and I’d do each of them again. I’ve started 2 companies, made a major career change, and walked away from a good job in corporate America. I’ve taken personal emotional risks for those I love. And I would do each and every one again. That’s not to say they were easy or perfectly executed or even successful in the conventional viewpoint– but in each and every one I took a leap and flew: a bit wobbly at first and sometimes with less than perfect results. The key was that at the end I was better, stronger, smarter and more confident and able than before.
I also came up with 6 significant MISTAKES – actions or situations for which I would like to have a “do over” or wish I could erase the tape. I allowed a friend’s rejection in grade school undermine my social confidence for so many years that I am embarrassed to count them. I wallowed in misery for years over a situation I created and refused to stand up to and correct. I failed to see very obvious clues about things that just were not going to happen – and missed other opportunities waiting in vain. I’ve had more than my share of career dead ends.
Seeing the patterns of both successful risks taken and mistakes made – it became clear that my personal “aha” was that my biggest mistake tended not to be the initial action – but the failure to take action to correct the blunder. And 100% of that failure was the way I thought about the situation, my lack of self confidence, and my unwillingness to “own” the problem and consequently the solution.
We will make mistakes…and the higher we aim, the more likely that they will occur. I’d much rather reach high and fail some of the time, than to make the long run mistake of failing to reach high. Recognizing that, I’ve made an agreement with myself that when the inevitable mistakes occur, I will:
- Name my beliefs. Surface my self- limiting beliefs. Deal with them more rationally. Cultivate a new belief set that enables positive forward movement.
- Fail fast…and then move on. No wallowing! No waiting to see if things get better. Once I recognize it as a failure, I will take swift action to change course.
- Make it Right. Own it. Apologize. Make things whole. Ask forgiveness. Fix it. Do it sooner, rather than later.
- Get back in the saddle smarter. Take the time to reflect. Face things square on. Learn and learn fast. Recognize patterns.
- Continue to take calculated risks…even if I may not execute perfectly. Challenge myself again. Try it again from a different angle. Be smarter this time.
When I flip the “mistake” exercise upside down – and look at successes in my life – it is clear that not all were perfect from inception – but that I got much better results faster when I practiced the 5 actions above. I started two businesses without knowing all the answers, but learning along the way. I left my corporate job when it no longer was a fit – in very short order. I reflect daily – on what went well, what didn’t and what I learned as a result.
Life is fraught with opportunities to get tripped up – to get ourselves into “pickles”. This happens even more frequently if we intentionally put ourselves “out there”, aim high and try new things. And although a cliché, the real failure is when we fail to try. Malcolm Forbes looks at it this way: “Failure is success if we learn from it.”
