New Years: an annual time to reflect, plan, resolve and set goals for the upcoming year. It is the time we put the past behind us and begin anew.
Yet we all know that it doesn’t take many days (and in some cases hours) until we flub up. Harsh words are uttered. A cigarette is lit. We skip the gym. We are late (again). We put off that which we deemed very important just a few weeks ago. We spend more time with paperwork than with the people we work with.
Yet, in spite of year after year of failed resolutions, we continue this rite. So, how might we use some of the resolution rituals differently to get it “right” in 2011?
Tip 1: Use the Symbolism of a New Beginning
The reality is that January 1st is not all that different than Dec. 31st. However, in our minds we create a very big distinction. The symbolism of entering a new year, turning the calendar, and beginning anew offers a psychological marker that we attend to.
I’d suggest using that same symbolism to our advantage by looking at smaller and hence more frequent time increments. What if you think New Quarter or New Month or New Day in addition to New Year? This is the “practice makes perfect” principle. Make your birthday a time to reflect and course correct and you’ll have two opportunities per year. Make this a practice at the beginning of each season and you have quadrupled the effect. Make it a daily practice to reflect, adjust and set intentions and you will see a dramatic difference.
Tip 2: Think in Increments
We have a tendency to think in “either /or” which sets us up for failure. We are either fat or thin, fit or a slob, successful or a failure. As such, we often make a dramatic change on January 1st (or 2nd) that is unrealistic and unsustainable. Anyone that has gone to the gym the first week in January knows what I mean.
The caterpillar does not turn into a butterfly over night. Use the image of metamorphoses as your guide. Set your direction and take repeated steps over time. Persistence will pay off; you will have transitioned in a manageable and lasting way. Take a small step, meet with some success and then raise the bar. Do this over and over again – and you truly experience a transformation.
Anais Nin puts it this way: “I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.”
Tip 3: Invite your Friends
New Years is a social time of gathering with others. It may be a few loved ones, it might be a small party or it might be with 999,999 other people in Times Square. No matter the size, the social element is a critical component.
Inviting others in on your resolutions or intentions is not only fun, but can greatly increase the chance of reaching the goals you set. I would never have done half marathons if my daughter and husband had not been by my side. We worked out together, we shared what we learned, and we held each other accountable.
Tip 4: Celebrate
The overarching image of New Years is celebration. Sometimes we revel in the wonderful things that occurred in the past year. Other years we rejoice that the year is past and that we have survived all that has been thrown our way. Either way, we laugh, we dance, we relax and enjoy.
Bring that same sense of joy throughout the year. Take your team out for a celebration when they hit their goals. Build rewards into accomplishments. Plan for it in advance – to both avoid overlooking the need to do this and also as another motivator to maintain focus. For as Thomas Peters notes: “Celebrate what you want to see more of.”
