What not Wearing Sunglasses has to do with Leadership

Namaste was the traditional greeting in the places we visited in southern India, just like saying hello and shaking hands is in the U.S.. Thanks to yoga classes taken over the years, I at least knew how to pronounce the word. In class, hands are held together in a prayer position against one’s heart, students bow to the teacher and the teacher does the same. Then the group simultaneously says the phrase “Namaste”. Loosely translated it means, “The light in me honors the light in you.” or “The divine in me honors the divine in you.”

Namaste in India was done in much the same way – again hands in prayer and by the heart, a bowing of the head and vocalizing the word “Namaste”.  But the idea of seeing and honoring the light and soul of those that crossed your path went deeper than that. Over our time there, I noticed the importance of eye contact and acknowledging that you had seen someone – really seen them. Not a glance, but a human connection, eyes-to-eyes, acknowledging each others presence – and something deeper. Of really seeing and being seen.  And this practice went well beyond those that you were formally introduced to. It included wait staff, clerks, those passing by, and those begging in the street.

And that is why sunglasses were a faux pas – for with them you could neither see clearly another, nor could they see you.

Poet Gary Snyder has given a naturalistic meaning to darshan (this desire to see and be seen):

“It’s a gift; it’s like there’s a moment in which the thing is ready to let you see it. In India, this is called darshan. Darshan means getting a view, and if the clouds blow away, as they did once for me, and you get a view of the Himalayas from the foothills, an Indian person would say, ‘Ah, the Himalayas are giving you their darshan’; they’re letting you have their view. This comfortable, really deep way of getting a sense of something takes time. It doesn’t show itself to you right away. It isn’t even necessary to know the names of things the way a botanist would. It’s more important to be aware of the ‘suchness’ of the thing; it’s a reality. It’s also a source of a certain kind of inspiration for creativity. I see it in the work of Georgia O’Keeffe…”

As I pondered this notion of darshan, I was reminded of many times in my life when I felt the opposite – or being unseen. Like the times when I worked very hard on something that was never acknowledged.  Of times I had joined a group and was not welcomed or had anyone talk to me. Of a very rocky time in my marriage where my term for how I was feeling was “invisible” – not seen, not understood, not valued enough to matter. Of times at work where my thoughts or opinions were not sought out. Of wondering why those working around me could not see what I had to bring.

No matter where it happened: (at work, at home, or in social groups) – not being seen was demoralizing, demeaning and at times heartbreaking. These were also the times that I checked out, withdrew, only gave my minimum effort, investing as little time and energy as possible.

Of course, darshan is a two-sided concept – to see and to be seen. I also wondered how many times I had not seen,and had been complacent in not honoring what others brought. When I brushed off good effort by a teammate as “just their job”. When I failed to reach out to someone new, someone not as socially acceptable, someone different, due to indifference or my own insecurity. When I took for granted things my parents, husband, or children did to make our family unit work. When I brushed off friends who may have needed someone to spend time with them, because I was too busy.

Darshan is about connection – and creating connection is what leadership is all about. Leaders connect people to the vision, to the organization and to each other. Leaders who can “see” are able to see individual gifts and talents and to weave together different personalities into a group that celebrates and utilizes what each person brings. They “see” the person as more than just an instrument to get the task done. They “see” a whole person – not just a worker. They “see” something deeper than the surface – see passion and potential – and know it is their job to help others see it to.

But leaders also need to be “seen” – and to do so they need to reveal something about themselves. They need to take off the sunglasses and allow those they are leading to see them more clearly. When they reveal their own soul – their hopes, fears, their own light, and their own darkness – is when others truly want to follow. For people want to follow someone with heart, someone who is authentic, someone that has the courage to reveal something of themselves.

So may all of us both “see” and “be seen” – may darshan become a part of who you are and what you do.

Namaste!