Are you Suffering from the Imposter Syndrome?

In my last post I explored the idea of success and how it is defined. But I recognize that there is something at work that may rob you of the sweet joy of success, no matter how successful you are. It happens with many of us, but tends to have a gender bias, preying on women more than men. It is called the Imposter Syndrome.

Valerie Young, Ed.D., explores the research and her observations in The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It.

As I read this insightful book – I saw myself and way too many of my friends and colleagues in its pages. You will too, if you ever:

• attribute your hard-won successes to luck or timing or happenstance
• feel that you don’t really deserve the success you’ve had
• work twice as hard as others to ensure that your work is as perfect as it can be
• worry that others far surpass what you bring – and that it is only a matter of time before you are “found out”

Note that I’m not talking about folks who really were lucky, who didn’t do the work or have what it takes to succeed. The research shows that 70% of us who have worked hard to achieve something, at times feel like an imposter – in spite of our hard work, having paid our dues, or having a gift or talent.

You’ll know you’ve fallen prey to the imposter syndrome when you find yourself negating your success (to yourself or others) with words or actions that say:

• it was just luck
• they liked me
• anyone could have done this
• they must have lowered their standards
• someone made a terrible mistake
• I had a lot of help
• they just felt sorry for me
• they are just being nice

As I mentioned earlier, the imposter syndrome strikes women more often than men. Young does a good job unearthing why that may be so – but for my women friends – know that you are in good company. Because the research found that the most successful, accomplished, smart women often experienced the fear that they would be exposed as fraudulent and not deserving of their hard won success.

Because of this, there are a number of coping strategies we imposters employ. They include:

• over-preparing and working harder than anyone else
• holding back
• maintaining a low or ever-changing profile
• using charm or perceptiveness to win approval
• procrastinating
• never finishing
• self-sabotage

I have all of them in my repertoire – and am an expert at a few of them!

Young goes on to offer many helpful suggestions on how to accurately identify when the Imposter Syndrome is at work (as opposed to solid decision making and insightful awareness) and then offers multiple strategies to lessen its hold on you. I also appreciated that she provided the “why” behind the theory – and that in itself is an interesting study of gender differences.

If you think you might have a case of imposteritis,  I’d encourage you to take a hard look in mirror, listen to your words, and monitor your thoughts. And if you see the symptoms – a few hours spent with your nose in this book will be time well spent.