Life Does Not Have a Rubric

Without fail, as I conclude the two classes I teach at Purdue University and gather feedback, there emerges a wail about needing a better defined rubric. The students want examples of “A” projects that they can duplicate. They want to know the exact path to success in the projects and oh, by the way, can you also do the work for us?

And without fail, I intentionally ignore the feedback and start each semester anew with challenging projects that require creativity, problem solving, critical thinking, teamwork and at times, failure.

One class develops a business idea (on paper), beginning with ideation and moving through customer feedback, market research, financial analysis and mini prototyping. The second consults with local businesses, with the goal to recommend how to either solve an existing problem or seize a potential opportunity.

Both classes have far too many variables to create a perfect rule-book. All projects unfold differently. All clients have their idiosyncrasies. All require creativity, agility, pivoting, dead ends, and uncertainty. There is no one way. There is no 100% guarantee. There is no perfect example to emulate.

Just as in life.

I was raised in an era when we were told there was. Go to the right school. Marry the right person. Find the right company. Buy a house, have two kids, save for retirement and all will be well with the world.

The problem is this: life is far messier and complex and quirky that that. Marriages fail. Perfect jobs end without notice. Kids are not a fast track to fulfillment and joy. You find after a few years that the well-paying job, while in demand, leaves you numb and empty at the end of every work day.

I’d like to think that we’ve moved beyond the “white picket fence” type of thinking. Yet I see evidence every day that we have not. I teach college students that are on their parent’s path and not their own. I coach young professionals who look to someone else for their own answers.  I work with mid-career leaders who wake up, look around, and realize that this is not the life they want to lead.

These are college students madly accumulating hours of volunteer work, competing relentlessly for internships (many unpaid), packing the schedule too tight to breathe, and all at the same time with a lack of vitality and purpose that breaks my heart. I observe those in the workforce putting in longer and longer hours, attempting to meet the increasing demands of a downsized and digitized workplace in organizations that view them as expendable the moment the market has a down tick.

They are following the rubric. Doing what others expect. Going to the right schools. Getting the job with the “hot” company. Putting in their hours. And doing their best to live by someone else’s rules.

Here is the big secret: Life does NOT have a rubric.

Living your best life is a creative process. It requires risk. It takes fortitude. You will get knocked down. There is no easy or proven path.

There is, however, some timeless wisdom that if applied diligently and over time, will greatly increase your chance of living your best life.

The Short List of a Life Rubric

Here is my short list of a Life Rubric:

• Know what you are really good at and do as much of that as you can.
• Live by your deeply held values, even if it is tough many days.
• Fill your life with simple pleasures that bring great joy.
• Make a positive difference in what you do. Help others less fortunate.
• Have the right people in your life. Those that build you up rather than tear you down.
• Differentiate between wants and needs. Then act accordingly.
• Have a passion – for something.
• Be grateful for what you do have, rather than resentful about what you don’t.
• Live as if your life matters. It does.

I’m curious to know what you would add. Please share!

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