Why We Avoid Tackling the Big Things…and What to Do About it

I was not looking forward to our church board of trustees meeting. The primary agenda item was addressing a serious shortfall in our meager revenue against pressing financial needs, wants, and obligations.

Our budget was small, and we had little in the way of savings. Our endowment money could not be tapped. The shortfall was projected to be about 15%, which was significant yet not “shutter the doors” level.

Yet still, our task at that meeting was to find a way to bridge a $30K shortfall. As with any budget, we had three options: we could find cost savings or cuts, increase income, or do a combination of those.

I could tell immediately that I was not the only one yearning for an easier topic to tackle. Yet I also knew that my voice and perspective were needed, for I had more experience than most others in dealing with organizational budgeting and bigger financial obligations.

We started off just fine with a clear description of the current state and the projected shortfall. A few ideas were offered, and then we began to go through the current budget, line by line. It was then that we hit a snag.

One line item showed the fees we paid to enable people to contribute using their credit cards. The conversation shifted from “How do we create a balanced budget?” to “Do we really want to encourage people to pay via credit card?” The conversation veered into a philosophical discussion about not encouraging debt, concern that credit card companies were taking advantage of consumers, and our role in helping people live within their means.

I sat back incredulously as the conversation went on and on. As I looked at the clock, I was startled to see that this conversation had consumed most of our time, resulting in us having to table the budget conversation for the next meeting. Here is the punchline:

That particular line item was only $30, a mere .001% of the budget shortfall, yet it had consumed 80% of our time and energy on the problem.

I left perplexed, but upon reflection, realized what had happened:

It was easy to talk about the “little thing” and avoid dealing with the “big thing.”

$30 was something folks could get their heads around….$30K was out of their comfort zone. The philosophical discussion was theoretical and rather intellectually stimulating. The decisions about cuts and fund-raising were tactical, tough, and terrifying.

I also began to notice how, as humans, we all have the propensity to focus on the “little” things and avoid the “bigger things.” Even when those bigger things haunt us daily and often do not get any better when we ignore them.

Some work examples:

We fail to correct the underperformance of a team member and tolerate it over time. Failing to resolve the issue, team morale plummets. And quite often, our better performers leave, while the under-performer stays.
We hesitate to “fire” the customer who consumes our precious time, energy, and resources, avoiding that tough conversation. By doing so, our valued customers suffer from a lack of attention, and our staff members become worn out.
We continue shouldering on with floundering or failed projects, not wanting to admit that we need to pull the plug. Yet no one is fooled by the façade. The effort becomes spotty or lackadaisical, and resources diverge from more fruitful endeavors. It dies a slow death.

These are only three lived examples. A quick search from ChatGPT came up with these ten, and I’ve experienced all of them at least once:

Addressing Poor Performance Early – Avoiding difficult conversations with underperforming employees can lead to a toxic work culture and decreased productivity.
Investing in Employee Development – Failing to provide training and career growth opportunities results in disengaged employees and higher turnover.
Taking Accountability for Mistakes – Leaders who avoid admitting mistakes damage trust and miss opportunities to learn and improve.
Making Tough Strategic Decisions – Delaying decisions about restructuring, layoffs, or pivots can lead to financial losses and missed opportunities.
Embracing Innovation and Change – Sticking to outdated methods and resisting new technologies can make a company obsolete in a fast-changing market.
Listening to Employee and Customer Feedback – Ignoring concerns from employees and customers can result in a decline in morale, reputation, and revenue.
Managing Conflict Proactively – Avoiding difficult conversations or internal conflicts can allow resentment to fester and reduce collaboration.
Setting Clear Goals and Expectations – Without a clear vision and measurable objectives, employees may lack direction and motivation.
Prioritizing Long-Term Growth Over Short-Term Gains – Chasing quarterly profits at the expense of long-term investments can weaken a company’s foundation.
Building a Succession Plan – Failing to develop future leaders can create instability when key executives leave or retire.

I’m reminded of a client of mine who, when discovering her team was failing to deal with a tough issue would say, “We are walking around with rocks in our socks again. We need to stop and dump them out.”

And that is exactly what not dealing with those ever-present topics that you are avoiding feels like. You hobble along. You proceed gingerly and can’t pick up speed. And every step is painful.

One of the more insightful yet sobering questions I raise to my coaching clients as we begin an engagement is:

What are you tolerating or putting off dealing with?

I suspect most humans can almost always name something. Which leads us to the first step of not walking around with rocks in our socks:

Naming and claiming the issue or problem.

The mere act of putting the problem out there helps. In my church budget story, one might think that the budget shortfall was the problem. While it was one problem, it was NOT the big problem blocking positive forward action: it was getting diverted by a less challenging question. I would have done this board group a huge favor by saying, “It seems like we’ve gotten off track. What do we need to do to get back to our original task?”

Surface the conversation in a safe space

The time to tackle the tough stuff is not when it is emotionally charged; people are tired or fearful. Find the appropriate time and place and create a setting where people feel “safe.” You can do that by setting a few ground rules about the conversation, such as:

Everyone’s voice matters.
We will respect each other.
We will listen with curiosity, not judgment.

Creating that space where people can openly (and respectfully) share their thoughts and at times, their deepest fears opens the conversation up to step 3.

Envision the desired future – what do you want instead?

This is a critical step and one that is often overlooked. Once we begin to address a problem or issue, we can get focused on alleviating the pain and having the problem “go away.” Being pain-free is very different from defining and working toward optimal solutions.

Continuing with my board example, we really wanted more reliable income streams that would fully cover the ongoing expenses and enable the church’s mission. Averting a $30K shortfall for one budget cycle could be done with short-term belt-tightening and some heroic saves. Defining the challenge as sustainably enabling the organization’s mission focused the board on creating a better future, averting jumping from one financial shortfall to another.

Search for alternatives

Once you’ve defined what you really want, you can generate alternatives. For any desired future, there are multiple paths, options, and approaches. Working toward a positive version of a better future unleashes an energy that solving a nagging problem just doesn’t have.

I’m happy to report that in our next board meeting, we did reframe the issue to finding sustainable solutions. And interesting ideas emerged, that included renting out unused office space, renting the social area for special events, charging for parking in our lot at Purdue games, and moving endowment funds into professional hands that generated a much more stable and lucrative return.

Take a logical next step.

One reason we can avoid the big problems is that we believe that it will take BIG effort to resolve. That may be true, but it is also true that bite-size steps over time work can yield long and lasting results. Just taking the first steps creates momentum and positive energy. That creates confidence. And small steps in the right direction allow us to make adjustments along the way.

Continuing with my church example, we generated a list of ten possible ways to either generate new revenue, trim expenses, or use our existing monetary resources more effectively. We divided the list, did the research, and determined which “small steps” we were willing to commit to. And suddenly, finding ten $3,000 opportunities, rather than a $30K chunk, became doable.

Which prompts me to ask you, these questions: