We Get Confused

I am certain that I am not the only one dismayed and disheartened about the divisiveness that seems ever present today. Between pro-choice and pro-life. Between Democrats and Republicans. Between millennials and boomers. Between different religious sects. The list could go on and on and on.

It seems to me that we are fundamentally confused. We confuse coalitions with community. Community, by design, is diverse – different people sharing some overarching element in common – it may be geography (your neighborhood) or fundamental beliefs (like citizens agreeing upon common governance). Coalitions, though, are groups of people with a cause or mission – an alliance for combined action toward a defined end goal. Coalitions are formed to focus on a certain, much narrower outcome than community.

We also are confusing debate with dialogue. Debate is a win/lose proposition. Good debaters can argue either side persuasively, as the goal is to win points at any cost. The goal of dialogue is not to win, but to connect – to hear and to be heard, to understand. And out of that come richer perspectives and most times a middle way – a more nuanced approach that respects all. Creativity can emerge and community is enriched.

Communities thrive on dialogue, and are diminished by debate and coalitions forcing their worldview on the whole.

As a leader, I encourage you to nurture dialogue and debate – in your work, your community and your social circles. Much harder work, but well worth it.