In today’s post I want to do two things:
- Differentiate between coaching and mentoring
- Help you locate really effective mentors
So, first we’ll start with definitions. A mentor is a person that is willing to invest in you for the sheer pleasure of seeing you do well. A mentor knows the way, has broad knowledge and is willing to share it. They are invested in your overall success and become a trusted adviser and sounding board. A mentor is wise, giving and helpful.
A coach is more focused on a specific outcome, generally to learn to do a particular thing better than you can do it now. They too, are interested in your overall success, but in a narrower way. When I hire a swimming coach, I expect them to help me become a better swimmer. If they began to spend time coaching me on tennis, too, I’d be looking for a different coach.
Almost all successful individuals have had a mentor (or mentors) along the way. Someone that was available to talk things out, to share experiences, to listen, to guide and to support. The most powerful mentorships happen informally. This occurs when you find that one person who is keenly interested in you and is willing to take the time to invest in you. Typically there is not a formal agreement or even a declaration of intent. You begin to meet, to discuss, to explore – and there are mutual gratifications that encourage an on-going relationship. You are learning and have a safe place to explore. But this is truly a two-way win as your mentor is rewarded by giving back – sharing their wisdom and seeing you grow.
The wonderful thing about mentoring is that the best ones are informal. That means you are free to find mentors for yourself and for team members. While you can’t force a mentoring relationship, you can certainly be alert for the opportunities and have your radar scanning for potential matches.
Mentoring can start as simply as a conversation over coffee. If you think there is value, you can simply ask the person, “This conversation has been really helpful for me. I can really benefit from your experience and insights. Would you be open to getting together in the future?”
You can also seek out mentors for your team members. When you find that person who would be a good mentor because they have a successful track record and are open, caring and good communicators – simply ask them if they would be willing to help that person on your team by meeting with them regularly to share and support. If yes, introduce them and get out of the way!
And a final note – remember that mentoring is a two-way street. I encourage you to be open to times when you or a team member could mentor others. When you find those opportunities, take the initiative to reach out to that other person, to connect, to share and to help them grow.
