One of the key concepts of Evergreen Leadership is the idea of “shedding” – of letting go, getting rid of, and generally removing from your life, things that are no longer needed. The process of shedding continually keeps us fresh and focused and avoids the tendency many of us (including me) have of continually adding more and never shedding what needs to or can go away.
Some things are obvious targets to remove from your life. Clutter. Work that no longer adds value to those you are doing it in service of. Sky-high expectations. Working hard to please others who no longer really matter to you. Negative habits. Striving for perfection when excellent is good enough.
That does not mean it is easy to shed them; but it is easier to know that you should.
Much harder is giving up on things that you are striving for and are not making progress. Or things that once worked beautifully but now are not. In these situations, I wonder if I should work harder rather than eliminating it from my life. Am I giving up and failing rather than giving in to the hard reality that it is beyond salvaging? The saying, “Winners don’t quit and quitters don’t win.” plays in my head as I struggle with whether to double down, walk away or continue plodding.
Here are some examples:
- New ventures or businesses that aren’t getting traction
- Relationships that are important to you but are broken
- Businesses, products or services that were once viable but now are tanking
- Team members whose performance has slipped
- Old friendships that don’t have the same tenor
- High expectations that appear un-do-able
- A job that is no longer satisfying or has become unmanageable
- Dreams that seem unreachable
How do you determine if you should spend more energy, time and effort to salvage something? And when is it time to shed it, to move on, to eliminate it from your life?
I’ve not found an easy answer. At times, persistence does turn situations around, and the effort is well worth it. I think of Jeff Bezos and the long path to making Amazon viable. Virtually every hero’s story has a climax where they fight on rather than accepting defeat.
Yet, I recall many times I’ve held on to things way too long, putting time, energy, and money into things that I really needed to abandon long ago.
Here are some questions that may guide your decision:
- Are there any viable options left to salvage it or make it whole?
- Are you doing this because you think you “should” or because of others expectations?
- Have you done your level best?
- Is there any movement or positive momentum?
- What does optimal look like? Is it even feasible to get there?
- What is the worst thing that could happen in you walked away?
- What is the best thing that could happen if you gave up and moved on?
- What is holding you back from giving up? Is your reason legitimate?
- How will you feel a year from now about your decision? Ten years from now?
Giving up is not always the easy path. If you’re like me, it is terribly difficult to let go, to move on, to admit that something is no longer working or worth doing. But only by giving up can we allow the space for something new.
