Let it Soak

I’m an expert at doing dishes – thanks to growing up in a family that ate three square meals a day (home cooked of course), that thought the kitchen work belonged to women, and who did not own a dishwasher until long after I had left home. And so, doing the dishes was my chore. Lots and lots of them.

As I learned, my Mom was at my side, instructing and continually rejecting any half-done work. And, to this day, I can still recall the sense of relief when she would declare a particularly messy pan would need “to soak”. That meant an early release from the chore – and more time to do other more pleasurable things (which was just about anything).

As I grew older, the washing of the dishes became a solitary task. I was trusted to do them on my own. And I still also recall that when I was in a hurry to get done, I would fill the pots and pans to the brim with hot soapy water and declare to my mom as I bolted out the door that “the dishes were done except a few that needed to soak”.

At times that was accurate and at other times it was a ploy to avoid doing the work.

My approach to the dishes is not much different to the challenging work we face as adults. There are many times we do need to let things soak. To give them a bit more time, more reflection, and to avoid doing something rash or premature. And when we do that, we often find that, just like with the pots, that time in the right environment has performed magic. What would have taken much effort can now be done quickly and easily.

There are other times that “letting it soak” is a mere excuse for avoiding something, for deferring the work that must be done. Getting to “it” in a day or two turns into weeks, then months and sometimes a lifetime. Waiting for the additional data or money or courage or information stalls us unnecessarily and becomes our rationalized excuse for not taking action.

So how do you discern if “letting it soak” is a good strategy or merely an avoidance mechanism? You might ask yourself these two questions:

• Will this be easier (or better or clearer) in the future? Or…
• Do I know, deep down, what is needed and am just avoiding it?

Are there things that you are rushing or forcing that might benefit from some time to soak? And are there things that you are “letting soak” that just need you to roll up your sleeves and apply some elbow grease to get done?