I had a recent conversation with a leader in a large company who made the statement, “It would all be better if only people would just come to work and do their work, and leave their emotions at the door.”
The statement left me wondering just what emotions one should check at the door. At first I thought the comment was really saying, “Don’t bring negative emotions to work.” Things like frustration, grief, sadness, anger, fear, or indignation. Did he really not want his folks to bring joy, wonder, humor, caring, passion, excitement, kindness, trust, courage, or respect?
We didn’t have a chance to have a deeper conversation, but as I’ve thought about it more, here are my observations about emotions at work:
- There is a prevailing belief system, based on Fredrick Taylor’s mechanistic view of work: the more machine-like we are, the more productive we become, and the easier people are to manage. The roots of this are in the “assembly line” view of work – assign a task, do it efficiently, and do not rock the boat. 114 years later, this very first management consultant’s views still shape how we lead. I think he was wrong.
- There is a general discomfort with “negative emotions” – many leaders are ill equipped to deal with sadness, anger, grief or fear. In fact, showing these emotions might even be a show stopper for your career progression. Never mind that sadness means you care, the anger may be justified, the grief over real loses, and fear well deserved.
- I believe that this aversion carries over to “positive emotions” as well. Even though we claim we want happy, passionate employees who care about their work, I’ve seen folks who exhibit these emotions too openly to be ostracized as well.
I don’t want to work with humans that act like machines – I want to work with humans that are human. And that means they bring both intelligence and emotion with them. They are smart AND have heart.
I want to work with folks who are passionate, and who care, and who aren’t afraid to show it. I want to work with others who are brave enough to step up and out and have the courage to do so. I want to work side by side with others who show up fully, as they really are – which means at times they are happy and other times they are sad. Who get indignant when things are unjust, and have the courage to do something about it. Who care, and because they do are sometimes disappointed and hurt. Who exhibit a full range of emotions, knowing fully that one can’t be courageous without at the same time overcoming fear. Who can fully experience happiness because they have known the depths of sadness. Who can be fully present when I’m angry, upset, frustrated or discouraged; not fixing, not avoiding, not judging. Who can just sit with me and sit with the emotion and trust that it’s OK. Who can acknowledge that I’m human too – and that emotions (positive and negative) bring spark, passion and creativity.
So would we be better off if we “checked our emotions at the door” before going to work – I say resoundingly NO! It might be less messy and less uncomfortable – but it also is dull, lifeless, sterile and inert – not a place where I can bring my full self and contribute fully.
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Interestingly I had a conversation with a Customer Service Rep earlier this week. Her comment was that “they are driving the emotion out of us”. One day the things are going to come to a boling point and we are going to sit back and say “We did what we were told. Then we will sit back and watch the leaders take the heat. We won’t defend them or stand behind them because we did what we were told.” We have no encouragement to follow, to try harder, to be engaged. Just pound out the work the way were are told.
So do emotions belong in the workplace? Do you want people to care that the margins are slipping? Do you want people to try to do their job better and look for ways that will cut costs? Workers that care if a coworker is struggling and needs some encouragement and training/guidance. Do they want to see the company survive so that the people they work with remain employeed?
In my little corner of the world, my team, my boss, they care. Not so with much of the rest of my work world. We recently posted for 4 open positions. No one applied until they found out it was for our department. Then the flood came in.
So what you need are passonate people who care. Who help one another through good and bad because together we survive or fail.
Without turning workers into robots, I don’t see how anyone can come to work without emotions, whether from personal or professional situations. That’s part of being human. The issue is how we manage and productively use emotional energy, and how leadership supports employees during emotional times.