My daughter and I have had too many conversations in the last 3 months about “self-soothing” given the fact that my now 3 month old granddaughter is NOT very good at it. Once she is mad, she is very mad. And she is prone to stay that way for an amazing amount of time. We know lots of tactics to soothe her – and each and every one relies on an adult bouncing, singing, walking, rocking or attending to her in some way.
Aubrey is only 3 months old. I know plenty of folks who are 30 years old (or more) who have not developed the ability to soothe themselves. They have no internal mechanisms that calm them, help them gain perspective, provide focus and clarity. They too rely on other people or things to do the job. A friend to talk them down. A dog to kick. A stiff drink to help them forget.
Far better for leaders to learn the art of self–renewal. Self-renewal is something you do for yourself that rejuvenates, renews, brings you a fresh perspective or more energy or greater insight. Self-renewal yields amazing paybacks – in energy, focus, productivity, insight, learning, and physical and mental well being. Every person is different – and will find different activities that are self-renewing. That is part of the fun of it all.
Here is a list of 25 ways you might consider for your own self-renewal. This list is long – so that you can find a few that fit you perfectly. I don’t want to imply that you need to do them all (which would not be self-renewing). You’ll also see that many day-to-day activities can be self-renewing, if you approach them as such. That means that you go into them with an intention to be present, to stay focused on the task, and to intentionally slow down and eliminate distractions.
- Time outdoors, especially by water, trees or mountains
- Walking
- Writing or journaling about your experiences
- Yoga
- Reading books that inspire you
- Meditation
- Focused, deep breathing (even 30 seconds can be renewing)
- Gardening
- Exercise or physical activity that you can do mindlessly – like walking, running, swimming, biking
- Listening to great music in a quiet place or with headphones
- Time in silence and solitude
- Martial arts like Tai Chi, Aikido, or Jujitsu
- Watching a movie that makes you laugh
- Vacations that allow you to experience a slower pace
- Totally checking out of work, email and cell phones for a day
- Drawing or painting
- Doing any task with presence, focus and intention
- Time with a friend that really listens and encourages
- Stretching
- Flower arranging
- Prayer
- Reading poetry
- Writing poetry
- Fishing
- Chopping vegetables
What would you add to the list?
