Coaching
Qualities of a Thinking Partner
I’m a lucky duck – I am surrounded by friends, coaches and colleagues who help me think better.
I’m a lucky duck – I am surrounded by friends, coaches and colleagues who help me think better.
The hard truth is that we’ve been taught to work on shoring up our weaknesses. The even harder truth is that, usually, this is energy misspent.
Many, many years ago (I think in 1989) I heard a speaker use a phrase that resonated and has stuck with me. Although I don’t remember any of his other remarks – he used the term “unconditional positive regard”.
Listening till your ears hurt is a great metaphor for the type of listening one does when engaged in important dialogues like coaching, mentoring, guiding, supporting, explaining, or teaching.
The hallmark of a great coach is the ability to ask questions. Not just any questions… but insightful, thought provoking, no judgment attached, open your mind and speak your truth questions.
This is the year I’ve finally decided to attempt a triathlon sprint. This means I will run 3.1 miles (can do), bike 10 miles (can do) and swim 300 meters (can’t do). I’ve talked about this for 3 years. It’s on my bucket list. I’ve watched sprints and talked to those who have done sprints. I’ve finally decided it was time to stop talking and begin doing – and the first step was learning to swim.
We are a sports-crazed nation in the US. We love our teams and the competition and all the festive rituals that accompany game day. We admire the great performances of athletes – yet fail to make the link between what they do to improve performance and how we might do the same in our professional careers.
Above all, I continue to have a deep belief that positive change is possible – for each person, for every family, for all organizations, and for our society and world. Note that I said possible – and not easy.
When there is a whiff of change in an organization, one begins to see some very interesting behaviors. Perhaps not
A mentor of mine called it the “Prison of Perfection”. She was referring to this all absorbing effort to get things perfect – and to not be satisfied with anything less than 24 carat gold results. No second place finishes. No 4.5 scores on a scale of 1 to 5.
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